In my practice, I have worked with several individuals and couples who have been impacted by the influence of pornography. Some people may believe that it is “no big deal,” that it is “normal” for men or even women to view pornography and that it has no negative impact on their relationship. This is simply not true.
Pornography use is a betrayal of trust in a committed relationship. Even if there is no sexual relationship, the betrayed partner feels the same feelings at discovery as a partner who finds out their significant other has had a physical relationship with someone else. The pain and trauma is the same.
The Gottman Institute shares an article that discusses the impact of pornography on intimate relationships in more detail. If you and your partner are experiencing this, I would encourage you to read this article. I hope it is helpful for you.